one million words

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tiny boss

I wake up to a hungry girl growling impatiently in my ear.  Apparently I am supposed to rise at once and make pancakes. I weakly open one eye. Not good enough. She pulls my arm before dramatically dropping to the ground. I am not in the mood to take orders before 6am but at long last I arise. She is right behind me with eyeshadow on her forehead, looking pleased. I pop in my contacts while she unravels a years worth of floss, a clever move to hasten our journey towards the kitchen.

We make it to the top of the stairs, when suddenly her legs give out and she pleads to be carried. Soon these legs will leap from coffee table to couch repeatedly but for now they are jello. I compromise and carry.

She gets her pancakes. Cut as ordered. Syrup on the side. Blue Fork. She wants my music off, her music on, not this song though. Back at the table I dig through lions (too scary), cats (for sissy), elephants (some days ok) for a hippo vitamin. She wants a second. Tomorrow, I say. NO! NOW! She throws her juice while my back is turned. Time out.

She takes all her clothes off and needs help getting into a princess dress. ‘Paint my nails! she orders. Later, i offer. No! NOW!! My nail polish is coming off!! Tears, then stomping.  Time out again. She pounds against the door. I turn away and call her tiny boss under my breath.

Tiny boss is full of great ideas, just short a few volunteers. So she is counting on me to fill the gap, to meet every need just like I did not long ago. Only a cry and mama came running. Simple, innocent, effective. Awesome. Lets just not ever grow up.

But grow we must.  So we join in the awkward dance of ever changing needs and emotions, confusing communication and blurry boundaries.  Some days our steps are out of sync and our rhythm if off.  She turns into tiny boss. And I turn into big pleaser. And we both feel frustrated. And some days, we rock it. And all days, we are learning from one another.

She woke up happy and non bossy all week. And I am learning that loving her is not the same as pleasing her. I’d call that progress. I think we are good for each other.

She is assertive, passionate, persistent and brave. And yes, I will make her that pancake in the shape of a heart!

I love you, tiny boss!

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