one million words

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October

The rain is back, a soothing tap tap of drops against my bedroom window as I wake before dawn. It’s good to be here in the quiet which often eludes me because I don’t naturally rise before the kids but every time I do it seems sensible and wise. I need more quiet time to center myself and allow my soul to catch up with my life. This is not a season of quiet and I am learning to accept that, even learn to be grateful for all the noise.

I haven’t been able to find my writing rhythm since the school year started. A lot of energy is required to get a new school year off the ground and as always I am making last changes to curriculum etc. It’s good to be back learning together and so far this year has started off much easier than last. I am not sure what happened and how this happened but the kids seem ready to learn and work more independently and not whine and argue about every ounce of work. It’s actually a rather drastic change in attitude and I’d love to know the formula so I can bottle and sell it to every weary homeschooler out there.

But alas life and parenting and children offer no formulas, only the gift of the present. And the present we’re challenged to embrace with gratitude. Not surprisingly my own attitude is changing. I worry less and have mostly stopped wondering if I am doing the right or best thing for my kids or if I am depriving them of some early childhood milestones like the first day of school etc. But the kids are happy and growing and learning and content with our schooling situation and although I am busy, I am not currently pulling my hair out which is great.

The stink board sold a couple days ago. A couple stopped by after sunset and I watched them from the upstairs hallway walk back to their truck after coming into the garage and my heart sank thinking I’ll be stuck with the dumb thing forever. To my great delight they returned moments later with cash in hand and I watched them carry the thing off with my husband. This made my day.

I’ve been in a sorting and simplifying mood the last few weeks and snuck a large load past the kids and to Salvation Army yesterday. The kids are hoarders, holding a story or string of attachment to rubber bands and strips of paper so I must perform the magic of tidying up rather discreetly. Inevitably I’ll get rid of something they want again like this wooden dollhouse we had a couple of years ago or the pink wood play kitchen they’ll ask for from time to time.

I got off work early yesterday and we went to the park. A friend and I sat in the sun and watched golden leaves rain from one of the trees- the first each year to be bare. The kids ran and swung and spun around while the older ones who no longer find the playground exciting trudged along the creek with walkie talkies. I love fall even knowing that rain is coming and will be here for a while. Perhaps knowing the inevitable arrival of cold and gray helps to stop and drop everything and run towards the last bits of sunshine.

But today the rain is here and I have time to stop and think and write. I’ve missed writing as much as I wrote this summer. The tip tap of the keyboard is soothing like rain to me. The youngest girl wakes and curls up on the couch next to me. Welcome October gifts.

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